Last night I went to bed because I was bored. Nothing appealed to me, and I just wanted to check out. I wasn’t even that sleepy.

Sometimes I feel there’s nothing left to dream about, nothing to look forward to. When our dreams are threatened or remain unfulfilled, we encounter a mood not uncommon to (especially) those entering mid-life.

This can uncover where our centre really lies. I’ll give an example.

Those who know me are aware that I love to fly, and I did learn do that. I’ve been crazy about airplanes since I was around 6 years old and (interestingly enough) this arose about the same time I first started thinking about God.

Those who know me better know that I’ve always wanted to build an airplane. I’ve doodled a million pictures of the Airplane I Was Going To Build When I Grow Up. But now, at 57, that dream is looking less achievable than ever, and this is taking some of the tang out of life.

Someday‚Ķ but I’m running out of somedays. Even if I do get around to building it, give me 20 or 30 years and I’ll be too old to fly my creation anyways. I’ll have to let it, and everything go sooner or later.

No wonder they call it a Mid-Life Crisis. By the it rolls around, most of us have run out of the money and time to keep ourselves distracted with more noise, toys and activities. Finally the big questions elbow their way into our lives, and what we see scares us.

There’s a scripture that’s been on my mind a lot lately, and it’s found in 1 Corinthians 4:16: “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.” We are aware of our mortality, but if we are Christians, we know there’s something more.

Well, my outward man is definitely perishing, in spite of my best efforts to the contrary. The fact is, I’m going to die some day, even if every moment until then is just filled with sunshine and happiness. Everything is running down.

But if Christianity is true, this life is in fact more of a preparation than anything else; it’s just the preface to the story of my real life. Some people would suggest that as a Christian, I’m just self-medicating with thoughts of eternal bliss, a sort of a “pie-in-the-sky” mentality. But as C.S. Lewis once said, there’s either pie in the sky or there is not; and there is plenty of evidence that there is far more to life than the 70 odd years that we experience down here. Lewis goes on to suggest that we have longings because they are meant to be fulfilled; that a desire indicates the existence of that which can meet the need. If I’m hungry, there is food. I want to fly: there are airplanes and the intelligence to build and fly. We long for justice: there is moral truth. I long for ultimate fulfillment, for meaning and eternal life: there is God, and the prospect of eternity with Him. This is where we are to invest our hearts, where we are to lay up treasure.

I want to pour my life into the pursuit of God, to know Him and to be known by Him. Part of me has always known this is so, but as I get older, the choice is plainer. He satisfies, calms, and reassures; and even when my feelings rebel, I can choose to just rest in Him.