So much is changing; so much of what is dear is passing out of our hands. Kids are growing up; friends are moving away or passing away. Parents get older, we get older (it happened so fast), and we start to realize some cherished dreams may never happen. I hate change, but it’s coming, like it or not; and there’s more on the way.

But amidst all this change I’ve met God, and know that utter satisfaction is there, joy beyond any expectation. At times my life feels shot through with streaks of gold, glowing realizations of His concrete presence in my life. There’s a richness as Christ becomes more real, such a practical fact in life coupled with a sense that this at last is what I was made for. Perhaps the realization of life’s brevity brings these weightier matters into focus. God’s reality in my life far outweighs what I fear I’m losing… but it’s so easy to lose perspective.

Feelings (such powerful motivators) change and daily the choice lies before us to trust or mourn. “In you, O Lord, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed…” (Ps. 31:1). All of Psalm 31 speaks to this dichotomy: feelings versus the choice to trust God.

I’ve found memorization of scripture very beneficial. It sort of gets it down inside of you and preaches encouragement to your insides. It stabilizes our emotions and nourishes the heart, and I suppose it’s a way of meditating on God’s word.

At times I feel I’m balanced on a razor’s edge between unspeakable joy and despair. Whatever the case, one can’t go back, and an overindulgence in nostalgia just feels unhealthy. God is bigger than my feelings anyways.

There are still adventures to be had. Onwards, then: I choose joy.

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